Remembrance!!!

It was one of those cold winter days. My roommate and I retired to sleep after a heck long of an uneventful day- too busy to do nothing at all. Before I narrate the most beautiful memory, I would like to tell you about my roommate. Well, she is relatively taller. RELATIVELY! You know what I mean. She is undeniably genius. Simple, because she is a computer science student. My theory weaved around the fact that the most logical earthlings on this mother earth are computer science students. Well, let me not get into my not-so-logical theories now. Apart from being tall, she has a beautiful disease. Yes. She is a LIGHT SLEEPER. Do you know what I mean? Let me delineate. Her sleep counted the sins that I committed, like turning a paper, switching the light, or even me walking around. She being an amazing girl as she finally started guaranteeing my sins a little rest and adjusted into my nocturnal life. 

The clock ticked half past one, and I was slowly drifting into sleep when I suddenly felt a jerk from under the bed. I freaked a little and calmed my beating heart, telling it that it was the regular dynamite stunt from the nearby coal mines. But at this time of night... strange. 

"Hey... Did you hear that?" I called out to her, but she got irritated  "Hear what..." and tossed to the other side, calling out n number of profanities in the languages that she knew 'coz I disturbed her sleep.' Pushing my drifting thoughts I tried sleeping again but this time, the impact came so hard that my roommate and I sat up straight on the bed. There is definitely something wrong. Very. Very. The dark room making it more difficult for us to comprehend the happenings around. 

Sending thousands of prayers to the upparwala. I looked at my friend. We felt it again, that sound, so very clear like someone is pushing our bed upwards. Freaking hell. 

"WHAT'S THAT?" she shrieked, and I shushed her. 

"Shhh...Shut up"

She crawled to the center of the bed, and we looked at each other. Oh ho! Mind wandering to the infinite possibilities of dangers. Were we invaded? Is it the extraterrestrial creatures? Did they finally find me after years of searching? Oh my God! 'Shut up. Will you?' the reasonable part of my mind shushed my hyperventilating head. 

*thud*

Again came the loud bang from the bed. 

"What's that? What's happening?" My roommate hyperventilated, not helping me at all. And the sounds became more clear now. 

We turned to each other and let out a gasp. Isn't it obvious?

"There is someone else in the room," I said in a low voice, trying not to stutter. 

She closed her eyes trying not to cry loudly. I closed my eyes, regaining the hope and confidence left in the so-very-brave-Sharma that I acclaimed myself since so long. 

"Switch on the light" she spoke out in bouts, terrorized. 

I nodded and turned but again came the thud making the remaining sanity in me go into drain.

'What the duck?' Hey, Bhagwaan! Are we playing this 'let's-check-if-you-are-brave game?' I thought. 

"We have only one way. Look under the bed and figure this out," I said as silently as I can. 

"NO!!! I. AM. NOT. DOING. ANY. OF. THAT. SORT" she gritted.

Nothing left in hope, and I slowly moved to the edge of the bed muttering 'give me strength' and when I was about to bend to see, but we heard a loud bang of our locker that lay far across the edge of our room. 

I stood straight. Startled and out of breath. 'Chill. Chill' I shushed not to go mental.

"There is definitely something wrong in this room and we are not the only ones," she said slowly but the truth evident in her fearful voice. The next second there is a bang from under the bed. I am pretty sure this is all the result of the horror movie marathon taking a toll on us. Nightmares can't be so realistic. Can they? Even if it is a dream, I have to fight. 

"Okay. I am gonna see what is this" I said confidently and moved to the edge and slowly and very slowly, very very slowly bent down with eyes closed and suddenly opened and then freaked out and went cold when I saw two glimmering blue eyes back at me and then they were gone in a second. 

I stood straight on the bed. 

"Don't tell me this is real," I said closing my mouth and gulping to clear my dry throat. 

"What?" she asked as she moved closer. So did I. 

"YOU.NEED.TO.SWITCH.ON.THE.DARN.LIGHT" I said slowly but steadily not letting my voice break. 

She denied. Downright. She shook her head and moved closer as the noises inched higher. 

In an impulse, I went and switched on the light and found the room all empty. 

"What's going on?" she knelt down catching her head in a helpless state, trying to absorb the sob. My throat was getting heavy too. 

*thud* 

Another loud bang. 

This time again I dared to look under the bed and so did I. Trying to think of the possibility of a devil, demon, venomous snake, zombie and what not to lay under and ready to pounce on me when I look down. 

'Okay.Chill' I sent a silent prayer to God and bent my head again and what I saw left me in a shock. 

It was a very huge and a white and black spotted, blue eyed CAT. 

"It's a CAT!!!" I shouted, and she looked at me appalled equally. 

"What is that thing doing under our bed?" she asked confusion etched and the crease in between her brows lifting a notch higher. 

"THAT my dear is not the question to be answered." I seriously pointed.

"Let it out," I said to her, and she said NO.

"Do you REALIZE THE FACT THAT I AM SHORT AND MY LIMBS BETRAY ME IN REACHING TILL THE DOOR?" I shouted in a breath. 

I thought that would work and she would open the darn door sitting on the bed. But she simply denied. On my face!

"NOW," I said trying to put as much as effort as I can to intimidate her. That was somehow amusing. 

She conceded and sat on the edge of the bed and opened the door and as soon as she did, the cat flew away from the room. Literally. 

Then we sat in silence as soon as she locked the door. 

For a whole minute, we sat still, trying to regain our breath. We glanced at each other and broke into fits of laughter. 

The light that remained whole night told the plight of our night nuisance to rest of our friends in the next morning.  

PS: Good old days. :D 

What it takes...

With the distant memory of the child who cried under the gleaming sun is still fresh in my memories. It is too real to be a vague memory. The laugh and the cry and the pain everything is an emotion that I can never give up. I smile, and my face muscles ache in pain. I have reached the foray of the life journey. What now? Just a day or an hour or a minute or this second... it may come and engulf me anytime. I lived a life with emotions on a roller coaster, trying to figure out what I really want and not pass my life reigns to someone else. I tried and tripped, and there was someone or the other to catch hold of me before I reached the demise. But one day came where I stood for myself and tripped off the life train not anticipating the fall. When I fell, it was all scars... for life. With the scars visible, I stopped trying and cocooned in depths of the warm embrace. When my niche vanished, just like that into thin air, I didn't know where to hide. This time the fall came even harder, and that made me even more vulnerable. Time, unlike any fictional gossip is mystic in every sense. It has the ranges set and never waits till you win or lose. It is okay to fall I guess because there is something proud to tell yourself before you say a goodbye. This all doesn't matter when your hair turns white, and heart beats dysfunction to just lament over your distasteful past. It still brings a smile. To reach the zenith, there has to be a trial.  Never fear to fall or stop trying. What it takes is to try and either a fall or rise...it doesn't matter. Never will. Just the wrinkles counting on the distant memories of sadness or happiness. After all, everything goes into something called nothingness which is a topic even mystical than life and death. 

Enthralling Distress!!

I stood watching the shades of dying and the silent zephyr whirling around. I close my eyes and let the tears drain away the dryness of my face. The sensation of pain still anew. Far across, miles away deeply thinking of what life plummeted me in, not knowing the answers and still running into the nothingness that is consuming me from head to toe. This toe curling sensation threw upon me cold water making me come out of the silent reverie I was living in. There is no use of bawling my eyes out with pain. That unknown pain that is consuming and taking the better of me. No use at all! I stand still trying to edge away a little pain if i can, but I am stuck with an unknown force. That is when I realized there is something better in this distress, something that can't be spelled out loud. It drives you into places where your can't reach in happiness. Every single feeling is meant to brew something and to burgeon you into a better person. To find solace in darkness, the only way is to walk further to ebb away the distance and thus farther you reach to find the mystic beauty that is hidden. There will be situations where one feels hopeless, clueless and lonely. The only thing to do is to over estimate your own power and let yourself in and give the best. So let the tears drain, heart scream in pain but stay stable not static. That is all you need to do to come outta it. Surrender your pain to your inner being. It all matters and it will remain in every vein of yours. To bring two antonyms together is what all it took for me to realize the depth. So, I walk away in silence, now with a smile. 

Alone thy Heart moves!!!!

Sitting in front of the amazing waters, she realized how far she has actually come. There was no pretense, it is really hard to believe. There were so many things that she was convulsed in. Those insults, insecurities and importantly vague understanding of the world. She has never had strong friends. Precisely, never let anyone come close to her. There were many people around her, who would say I understand and many people who shared their bad times. They never knew her completely. They have no idea the war she was battling. She tried getting close to things, things that would not betray her at bad times, things that would say nothing but accept the silence, which would not speak about her ugliness. But those things were calm facing the reality as she was. She wailed and cried to come out of her miseries, but time pushed her so strong she couldn't get up. But she fought. She fought so strong and let her secrets roll down through the words that she locked in her papers. Unknowingly, she took paths to test her destiny. To meet the mighty lord! O' he did. He was the only one through thick and thin. She caught hold of him. So strong... he might have felt choked. But that was the only one whom she could believe. She hid her fears and confided in him. She has come so far... miles away and a smile intact. She has learnt the game of life. The lonely journey that she has to make. There were things to sort out before she moves away. Away... she doesn't know herself which path she is going to take. But she knows that she is going to bid a sweet goodbye to all of those people who made her smile and cry. That was the promise she made to herself. Walking to the edge of water and dipping her feet she felt the fresh waves  of joy. Touch!!! She moved forward to gaze at her reflection... and I smiled back at her, assuring that I am always there...  

The STORM in Me!!!

I tried again for the umpteenth time but life

Life, threw onto the edge

Edge, of something called fate. 

Fate, that is destined, or so they call

Call, for something fatal for heart

Heart, that shed tears unknown to soul

Soul, that pierced the right wedge marring all along my face

Face, that betrayed the lonely mirror

Mirror, smiling a deep smile

Smile, long forgotten by eyes

Eyes, seemingly happy to the world

World, piercing me with words

Words, telling me I can't do a thing with perfection

Perfection affixed with a firm adage

Adage, to keep my gadgets filled

A lonely soul running away in solitude

just so to believe there is something deeper in me

All in vain 

world seems hard to accept me

as there are

many a things to yearn for perfection 

and more importantly

A Life to Live for!!!