Feeling oddly unusual, I sat down for the umpteenth time on the couch. It's been two days since the distressed state of mind. I am not sure of the predicament though. How typical! There is this state of mind wherein you cannot figure out what's up in it, maybe it it eats the resources. The sudden rush of emotions and the confused agony tagged along, the lump in the throat not settling and everything is a mess. Literally. Having a stable yet cheerful life, I used to be a person of joy. It's almost a year and that person is still missing. There's a saying, "A decision sometimes changes the life". I don't know about the life part, but yes few dynamics drastically push you and it is so hard to retrieve the reigns you left in the midair in the rush of the jerk. Reading between the lines and having the most unusual judge that I am, I zone out to tragedy, quite often. The whole point of my illogical blabber is, why. Why I feel the change not settling? "Simple 'coz I ain't happy dear O' dear" is what the little bird chirps. The distinguished light of the comfort zone dims and holds me captivated in its vice grip and never lets me off to the light. What, I should now start loving the darkness that's engulfing me? The straight answer from inside is NO. Bull's eye. That is when I found my old classic collection of 90's music hidden in some folder and my journal where I have jotted all my dreams believing the superhuman I am going to be in the future. This was seven years back. I let the tears flow and then I felt the sweet ache of happiness engulf me. It is indeed a dream or maybe not. Why do they say memories are beautiful. They can be so uncanny and disturbing sometimes. Especially, the happy ones. The sad ones are consistent anyway. I dwell a little bit around my articles and the 'Journey to hilltop' that I have written on my trip to Nepal. With the never ending thoughts, something clicked like a light wave and I realize that sometimes we need the change, to show us to the right shoes we want to wear.
Seemingly short and disoriented lines!
Well, life indeed is disoriented, words are mere things!
Seemingly short and disoriented lines!
Well, life indeed is disoriented, words are mere things!
